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re: Vent 

at least this time im very aware it wasnt for anything todo with being trans, its just this fucking shit part of the test

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re: Vent 

paired programming while we just sit here and not help at fucking all which is totally how that works in the real world where two other coders watch you and you fucking freak out. fuck this.

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Vent 

Got rejected for the job. Paired programming test fucked me over while my scores were pretty decent. Absolute fucking joke of an interview process that is. Get rejected because I feel rushed and it fucked my normal process and made it look like I just rush into coding when I felt rushed because 45 minutes just isnt enough for a solution. And just having to talk so much and try and think everything out loud. Fuck. Seriously am I just fucking not cut out cause I'm slow and rushed to do it and just am fucking dumb when they probably told me no rush or is this a neural typical thing or should i just never fucking bother in this industry cause in clearly fucking not cut out fuck.

V for vendetta spoilers? 

Now I've found the part that he says that the character before was called the doll and basically wasn't made because execs didn't want a "transsexual terrorist". The article is written in 1982 or 3 so wording is find there but he does describe the character of the doll as freakish. I'm unsure if that's to do with the transness tho considering he actually doesn't bring up the trans part until the bit about it getting rejected? Implying that wording is meant to be inferred that way? Its not clear but then we see parts of the books story that are very trans coded mostly in illusions to hormone experiments once V enters the concentration camp, the lesbian cell neighbour story could be V we don't know, the idea of V removing Envy's gender expression as part of the simulation they make her go through which leads her to act androgynous for the rest of the book, the woman researcher wanting to see V's face and calling it beautiful before she dies, and the fact that V says Envy must never actually see V's face and that could be read into not wanting to see what it became.

Most of that I got from an article that argues this but also never mentions the bit about the doll which I got from the article Alan Moore wrote in Warrior #17 that then got put at the end of the novel version of V for Vendetta called "Behind the painted smile" which I could not find online. Had yo use my big copy from reading a random blog who says they read it from the back of the book.

Here's the source of the in book references comicsverse.com/v-for-vendetta

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V for vendetta spoilers? 

Finding out that V is coded as a trans woman forced to detransition in the concentration camp is hitting me different a lil atm and making me emotional. Kinda funny who the wachoski sisters then wrote the screenplay for the movie adaptation but yeah just hitting me hard.

Interview at 11. Getting breakfast then just gunna make sure I'm ready. Its basically a redo of the one I did last week. This time i will.being going in with an actual understanding of kinda what vue.js is. I'm debating being honest that I didn't really prep for vue before but when i saw how.important of is and how steep the learning curve was I had to go away and learn it for this interview?

*closes a bunch of old browser tabs* wow it really feels good to clean my apartment

genders just taste better when the come in glass, no comparing them to plastic contained genders

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Phonecalls should have 5 minute warnings before they happen

dont wanna be angry at anyone, just annoyed it wasnt enough and i can fuck up again and just ugh

idk how to proceed with this and mentally ive been bricked walled and dont know how to react to "no, actually you dont have a definitive answer cause you have to do a third of the 2 and a half hour interview again" kinda is hurting my brain

lust my fucking luck that in an interview process that was at then end, i end up having to do more to get the job ughhhhhhhh

i did the interview and now i wait and i bet this will take ages and make me really anxious as it takes like days to get back and then its a rejection email

i did the interview and now i wait and i bet this will take ages and make me really anxious as it takes like days to get back and then its a rejection email

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